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©Jp Firri Group™ performing @ House of Blues - USA
Jp Fierro performing @ House of Blues
Monday, 16 January 2012
Thursday, 8 December 2011
The most craziest & sickest practical joke ever!
November 2009: The agent from HBO called my dad and he told me that: I'm supposed to go and perform at a club in Querétaro (3 hrs. far away from Mexico City), departing from Guadalajara with my friend Alvaro González (DJ Avado). Notice he's a really fat guy. We usually fly, but this particular day we were having problems with AeroMexico, because they wanted him to purchase an extra seat for somebody who wasn't travelling with him... take your time, you'll figure out... anyways, I said "Dude, what the hell? let's just drive!" So we jumped in the car, northbound, usually is a four hours drive, I got a special driver license for training in the Federal Preventive Police, and my parents didn't liked the idea very much that me & Avado were going there by ourselves... in his mom's minivan.
After 2 hours of driving, we're passing through the city of Salamanca, where you can see the pretoleum towers from the highway, and as we're passing through, we see signs on the sides of the highway, that say: "Performing this weeked at the Holiday Inn Hotel, directly from HBO Latin America, DJ BABU: Jorge Lemus". And I look at Avado, my buddy, and I said: "Dude, Lemus is in town!" Avado: "Yeah, I haven't seen him for ever!" Lemus is another friend of us, we usually joke with him about his color (not black, not white, just kind of brown...), he used to live in Guadalajara, until HBO LA hired him before us (Jp Firri Group),so we were like "let's stop by the hotel, and say hi".
So we went to this hotel, and we walk into the lobby, I look at avado and said:
Jp: Dude, I'm gonna... I'm gonna prank call his room!
Avado: And what are you gonna say?
Jp: I'm gonna tell him, that I'm the front desk, and I just received a gift basket for him!
Avado: What's so funny about that?
Jp: I'm gonna describe the gift basket to him, over the phone, and I'm gonna make all the items that are in the basket, become items, that stereotypically, a black person might like!
Avado: You're f****** crazy!
Jp: I'll tell you what: we have 2 hrs. to kill, how about this: how about we go to the super market, and we MAKE an actual racist gift basket?! And we'll deliver it, and wait outside the room to see what happens... are you down?
Tire burnout on our way to the super market.
So we went to the super market, and we proceed to design the most sickest practical joke ever, so we got a shopping cart, and I'm like: "plif! Ok, first item we need: it's a basket!" We found an old easter basket that's on clearance, I took out the grass, and the little plastic eggs... and we start going up & down the aisles. First item I grab is a tiny personal fried chicken, and this racist Avado he's like: "What about watermelon?" So we found a little tiny personal one, and we put it in the basket next to the fried chicken! By the time we hit the register, we had a shopping cart with freaking fried chicken, kool-aid, watermelon, barbecue potato chips, malt liquors, and a Chris Rock DVD called "Bigger & Blacker". Here's the icing on the cake: we found a greeting card, that is on clearance, from Halloween, on the front of the card there's a picture of 3 ghosts wearing sheets. I took out the part that says "Happy Halloween", and on the back of the greeting card I write: "Welcome to Salamanca! -The chamber of commerce." Some women in the store were like: "Oh my god, where are they going with this?" A couple of black people were like: "Mother fucker, this better be fun!" We stick the card to the basket. So we made it all nice and pretty, way back to the hotel.
Example of a gift basket.
We walk into the lobby, and it's TOO PERFECT! There's a black girl behind the counter! As soon as Avado put the basket down, she's like: "<<Sniff! Sniff!>> Is that chicken?" We both move our heads up and down "Yes".
Girl: Ohh! let me see what you got!
Jp: Hold on! Haha, let me explain: my name is Jp, and this is my friend Avado, we're DJs and we're about to play a really messed-up practical joke on our friend of us, named J. Lemus...
Girl: Oh, the guy that's on the poster?
Avado: Yeah, the guy... the guy that's on the poster...
Jp: So, we made him a racist gift basket, that's why you can smell the fried chicken, and... and... you also can see... watermelon.
Girl: Oh... ... that is so wrong...
Black ladie at the front desk.
She turns around yelling at somebody else: "Girl, you gotta come see this, YOU GOTTA come see this!". I go: "Look: we think it will be hysterical if you go and deliver the basket for us!". She lost it.
Girl: Oh! Hell no! I know you want me to take that to a black man only because I'm black, you have any idea how such terrible that is, dumb ass? Look, I'm not doing it, hell no!
Jp: I'll give you $500 box! (around $40 CAN dlls.)
Girl: Wait muther fucker here... (She takes the basket).
We followed her to the hotel room, and we hide by the elevator, she goes and knocks on the door: TOC! TOC! Lemus opens the door, sees the beautiful black woman standing in front of him holding a gift basket. Girl: "This basket, is for you babe". And he's like: "Thank you!", he closes the door. She jumps in the elevator, and then look at us: "You both are going to hell...". We walk over the room's door, and we start listening: "Whooaaa! chicken! oh yeah! kool-aid, chips... WATERMELON!" He's getting more excited! every single item he finds! Finally, he gets to the greeting card: "ouh... let's see... welcome to salamanca. The chamber of commerce. Hell yeah, I love this guys, they know hot to hook a brotha up!" Then we feel him flip the card over, because his voice changed: "Yeah man... I can believe it (swishh...!) whaaaat the fuuuuuuu***???!!! RACIST BASTERDS!" When we heard <racist basterds>> we lost it! We're laughing so hard, we're making noise on the hallway, housekeeping is freaking out: "Qué está pasando ahí, qué andan haciendo?" (What the hell is going on, what are you doing?). Jp: "Shhhhhh!" Maid: "No me calles hijo de tu pinchi madre, pinchi morro cabrón te voy a agarrar con la escoba!" (Don't shut me you son of a b****! F****** guys I'm gonna kick your asses with the broom!). We let her freak out! We knock on the door PUM! PUM!
Housekeeping maid
This fool runs over the door, opens it, and he sees Avado and me, and then he's like: "Damn! I knew it! I knew it!"
Jp: Hey Babu, did you liked your basket?
Lemus: Man! That was messed up!
Avado: Did you liked it?
Lemus: Mother fuckers I loved all that shit! How could you do it, maaaan!? What would you say if I do that to you Jp?
Jp: What do you mean?
Lemus: Yeeeah, what would you say if I hire the maid over there, and bring your else a piñata? And it is full of candy, and nachos, and chimichangas, and tacos, and burritos and a big bottle of tequila?! What would you say!?
Avado: Well... ... thank you!
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Thursday, 1 December 2011
God damn Scooby Doo...
3 years ago Jp Firri Group had a contract with HBO, so we used to play some techno music in some performances with HBO comedians, shows, etc. The contract was just for a couple of months in the summer, so my friend's parents and my parents agreed, we were getting paid for doing what we love to do...
One day we're supposed to make a performance in Phoenix; so we were traveling from San Diego, CAL., in a freaking tour bus that HBO gave us to travel with some other guys from the same agency, but between the two cities... you know, there's a checkpoint, where they're looking for... ILLEGALS, NARCOTICS, WEAPONS, or all 3 if you're convenient! So we're passing through this checkpoint, and we get pulled over: the immigration officer walks over the window... hits the bus with his hand PUM! PUM! "What's going on here?" And our bus driver -his dude name is Dave, he has been driving tour buses for like 30 years, he's old and white! And he never cares about anything, like his favorite phrase is 'I don't give a shit!', so the immigration officer asks, and Dave is like "It's a DJ group, and some guys from the staff, we're going to Phoenix to make a performance in a casino with some comedians, their sponsor is HBO, it's logic..." We're on the back of the bus and we hear from the outside: "wuaarf, wuarf... rrrghhhh... wuarfff! wooarf!" The officer hits the bus again with his hand PUM! PUM! and then points at Dave "Hold on, sir!" He looks to the officer with the dog, and they make signs with their hands... the officer comes back to our bus and says to Dave: "Our dog has just informed that there's something inside this tour bus, that is not supposed to be here..." Dave: "Is there, or he says it? Hehe! God damn Scooby Doo!" We're on the back of the bus having a heart attack: "DAVE! You're gonna get us arrested!" Dave: "I don't give a shit!" The cops ask the representative of the group to get off the bus, my name and my logo are on the side of the bus, so the doors open, I meet with an officer with a dog on his side... rrrrhhhhh... wuaaaarf! wooarff! rrgghh... Officer: "What's on the bus?!!" And I'm like: "What's on the bus? just more mexicans..." Dave was looking at me and he was laughing, while the officer was sniffing thinking... "...illegals", "EVERYBODY off the freaking bus!" So, my friend Diego, Ignacio, Avado, Dave, and the HBO guys, everybody coming off the bus, we were like.. One little, two, little three, little mexicans... four, little, five... ... after three hours of playing with dogs, and taking pictures, they let us go... When we finally arrived, we were a little bit late for setting up all the turntables and speakers, our boss got mad at us, when I told Dave about what happened to our boss, he just said: "Hey little man, we were having trouble with those freaking officers in the damn checkpoint, I don't give a shit!".
Performance @ the casino - Jp Firri ft. DJ Babu
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